Two fellows met at restaurant. His wife accompanied one of them.
Said one to the other, “Let me present my wife to you.”
“No thanks,” replied the other, “I’ve got my own.”
A professor staying in a guesthouse complained to the owner to replace half-length mirror with a full length one.
“But why? That half-length mirror is brand new,” replied the land lady.
“It simply won’t do,” retorted the professor, “I keep going out without my pants
on.”
A person got his uncle checked up by a doctor and then enquired on the phone, “There is nothing wrong with your uncle. I have examined him thoroughly and I tell you he only thinks he’s sick. He thinks he’s sick.”
A week later the doctor met the patient’s nephew.
“How’s your uncle?” he asked.
“Worse,” said the nephew, “now he thinks he is dead.”
Doctor: “Deep breathing, you undersatnd, destroys microbes.”
Patient: “But, doctor, how can I force them to breathe deeply?”
“Mommie?” whimpered the cute little youngster.
“Do you love me?”
“Yes, darling.”
“Then why not divorce daddy and marry the man in the candy store?”
